The first day I took Vyvanse 30mg, I understood what life must feel like for a neurotypical person. For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt different—like something was missing or fundamentally wrong with me. I chalked it up to the way I process emotions, assuming my struggles stemmed from being misunderstood, especially growing up as a bit of a nerd in a small country town where I never quite fit in.
My teachers recognized my severe ADHD early on, but my parents refused to believe there was anything “wrong” with their son. They were loving and supportive, but they didn’t see medication as a solution. So, I struggled through life, adapting the best I could well into my 30s.
Thankfully, I have an incredibly understanding girlfriend, Brittney, who has accepted me as I am. I love her more than words can express, knowing that my impulsivity, fidgeting, lack of focus, and obsessive tendencies have probably driven her nuts at times. Yet, she has continued to love me unconditionally.
The Immediate Impact of Vyvanse
One of the first things I noticed on Vyvanse was impulse control. Before, I would message Brittney constantly while she was at work—sometimes with heartfelt notes of appreciation, but often with trivial thoughts that probably made her wonder, You interrupted my work for this?
After starting Vyvanse, those “OHHH, message Brittney!” impulses significantly diminished. I didn’t feel the constant urge to share every little detail of my day. More importantly, I realized that not everything needed an immediate response. This had an unexpected benefit: we actually had more to talk about in the evenings. Instead of hovering over her in the kitchen, desperate for attention, I found myself sitting comfortably at the island, engaging in meaningful conversation while dinner cooked.
Executive Function: A Newfound Clarity
Before Vyvanse, my mind felt like it was being yanked in five different directions at once. I was constantly losing track of what I was doing, forgetting where I put things, and wasting time retracing my steps. Now, I simply do what needs to be done—without the endless cycle of overthinking and planning.
I also noticed a shift in how I approach tasks. Instead of getting stuck thinking about doing something for longer than it actually takes to complete it, I just get it done. Everything feels more systematic and logical, as if my brain finally clicks into place.
Some people report irritability on Vyvanse, but for me, it’s been the opposite. I feel more patient, more composed. When a trash bag busted while I was taking out the trash I didn’t swear in frustration. I just grabbed another bag and took care of it.
The Quieting of OCD Tendencies
Perfectionism has always been a double-edged sword for me. While striving for excellence can be admirable, it often led me to spend twice the necessary time on tasks just for that extra 5% improvement. My compulsions extended beyond work—I would double-check the oven before leaving the house, even when I knew I had turned it off.
Until Vyvanse, I never realized how much mental strain these habits caused. Now, those compulsions have quieted. For the first time in my life, I feel in control of my actions, rather than being controlled by them.
A Mind at Peace
Perhaps the most profound change is the silence—the absence of the constant “pinball machine” of thoughts bouncing around in my head. I can focus without being derailed by random ideas. I can sit still without fidgeting. The first day, I lay next to Brittney for three hours while she took a nap, and for once, I didn’t wake her up by shifting restlessly.
I don’t know who’s more grateful for Vyvanse—me or her. But one thing is certain: for the first time in my life, I finally understand what it feels like to be present in the moment. And that’s a gift I’ll never take for granted.